How Coachable Leaders Turn Feedback Into Growth Part 2

If you’re waiting for someone to give you feedback, you’re missing the number one habit of high performers. They don’t hope someone gives them feedback, they pursue it! Peak performers invite feedback and criticism because they realize that every conversation leads them closer to who they want to be. In today’s episode of The Champion Forum Podcast, we’re talking about how to use feedback to grow and create lasting change in your life.

A Personal Realization

The higher you climb, the less feedback you receive. Sometimes this is because people hesitate because they don’t want to upset their leader. Other times it is because they think you don’t need it. But if feedback decreases while responsibility increases, blind spots grow. That's why the best people I've ever met didn't wait for feedback; they chased it.

Feedback isn't something you receive. It's something you pursue.

The Growth Framework

G - Go get feedback.

Don't wait, initiate. Ask questions of people you lead and people you follow.

• "If you were coaching me...what's the first thing you'd work on?"

• "What's one habit that's helping me...and one that's holding me back?"

• "What's something everyone else probably sees about me that I don't?"

R - Receive without reacting.

One of the greatest disciplines you'll ever develop is the pause. When someone finishes giving feedback, don't answer. Pause. Take a breath. And then say these three powerful words: "Tell me more." Those three words communicate humility and curiosity, and they usually uncover the real issue.

O - Own your part.

Notice I didn't say own all of it. Sometimes feedback is exaggerated. Sometimes it's inaccurate. Sometimes it's emotional. But rarely is there absolutely nothing to learn. Ask yourself… What's my responsibility here? What's my contribution? Run your feedback through four filters:

1. Is it true?

2. Is any part of it true?

3. Why might someone see me this way?

4. What happens if I act on this?

W - Work the feedback.

Don't collect feedback, convert it into habits. Let's say someone tells you, "You interrupt people." Instead of just accepting their feedback and trying to do better, create a measurable commitment. You might decide that for the next thirty days, you will wait three seconds after someone finishes speaking to respond. Feedback without action is information, but feedback with action becomes transformation.

T - Thank the person.

One of the greatest compliments you can give someone is gratitude, even if the feedback stings. Saying thank you ensures that whoever gives you the feedback feels appreciated and will be more likely to give you more in the future. People who feel punished stop telling the truth.

H - Honor the investment.

This is where almost everyone fails: follow up! A month after you receive feedback, call them or send a message to say, "I wanted you to know I've been working on what you shared." Feedback should create relationships...not just conversations.

Q: What part of this framework feels the most new to you? What feels the easiest to implement? The hardest? 

What if the feedback is wrong?

Let's talk about the elephant in the room. What if the feedback is unfair? What if they're completely wrong? What if they don't know what they're talking about? Even if it was the worst feedback you have ever received, you still win because you practiced humility, modeled maturity, and you probably learned something about yourself, even if it wasn’t what they wanted you to learn.

The Big Question

What if the next level of your career is hiding behind one conversation you've been avoiding? What if your spouse has been trying to tell you something for years? What if your team sees something that you don't? What if your boss has stopped giving you feedback because it just isn’t worth the emotional toll that you give them? What if the breakthrough you've been praying for is waiting inside feedback?

Application Activity:

Ask three people this question: "If you genuinely wanted me to become the best version of myself...what's one thing you'd tell me?" Then ask one follow-up question: “Can you tell me more?" Write it down, reflect on it, act on it, then, 30 days later, go back to those same three people and ask them this: "Have you noticed any improvement?"