Unlearning Leadership: The Behaviors That Made You Successful But Are Now Holding You Back

You’ve heard it said that success leaves clues. But sometimes, the very strategies that got you to the first level of success become the barriers to the next. On today’s episode of The Champion Forum Podcast, we’ll talk about why that happens, how to recognize it, and what to do when you realize you need to lead differently to grow further.

The best leaders aren’t just learning, they’re unlearning. They are aware enough to recognize that what used to work no longer does. They are also humble enough to evolve before they’re forced to. If you don’t unlearn behaviors that are not serving you, you will experience burnout, build dependent teams, and ultimately stop growing.

Why Do We Struggle to Unlearn?

• These behaviors worked in the past.

• They may even be part of your identity.

• You may have received praise and recognition for them.

Q: Are you clinging to a version of leadership that worked for a smaller team, a different season, or a less complex business?”

Leadership Behaviors You Need to Unlearn

1. Being the Expert

In the early days, you were the one with all the answers. But as your influence grows, being the answer person becomes the bottleneck. Effective leaders worry less about their image and more about empowerment. Instead of asking, “What’s the answer?” ask, “Who else can answer this?”

2. Doing Instead of Delegating

Hands-on leadership gets things done, but it also burns you out and stunts your team’s growth. Stop asking yourself what will help you meet your goals and start thinking about what it will take to scale your influence. Ask yourself, “What am I doing that someone else can and should be doing?”

3. Controlling Outcomes

At one point, tight control protected quality, but over time, this approach strangles innovation and limits your ability to scale. Instead of focusing on control, focus on trusting your team. Ask yourself what decision you could delegate that would help your team improve.

4. Avoiding Vulnerability

You used to view vulnerability as a weakness, but now your team needs your humanity more than your polish. Focus on being authentic, not perfect. Ask yourself where you could be more real so that your team can learn from you.

5. Solving Everything

You were the fixer, but when you solve everything, your team becomes dependent, and you become exhausted. Instead of problem-solving, focus on coaching. Ask yourself what you can do to help your team problem-solve for themselves instead of relying on you for the answers.

Why Unlearning Feels Like Losing Control

Changing the way you act will challenge your identity and require you to let go of what is comfortable. However, if your identity as a leader is wrapped in what you’ve done, you’ll resist who you need to become. Unlearning is not about erasing your past; it’s about redeeming it by evolving your leadership to meet the needs of now.

How do You Begin the Unlearning Process?

1. Inventory Your Leadership Habits: What do I do because it feels safe rather than because it’s strategic?

2. Invite Honest Feedback: Ask your team: “What do I do that might be limiting our growth?”

3. Create Space to Reflect: Unlearning doesn’t happen while you’re rushing through your daily tasks; it happens in silence and reflection.

4. Mentor With the Future in Mind: Find leaders ahead of you and ask what they had to let go of to grow.

Application Activities:

1. Identify one leadership behavior you’ve outgrown and commit to replacing it with something that serves your next level. Don’t just add tools to your toolbox; start removing the ones that no longer serve you.

2. Ask your boss or a mentor how their approach to leadership has changed throughout their career and why. What leadership techniques did they have to unlearn? Did they ever hold on to an approach for too long? What happened? Listen with curiosity and ask follow-up questions. After your meeting, take some time to process what they said and see how you can apply what they learned to your leadership.