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The Champion Forum Podcast

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TCFP103: SHOULD I OR SHOULDN'T I? - STOP SHOULDING ON YOURSELF!

Thank you for listening to The Champion Forum Podcast! Are you more concerned about what you want to do or what you think you should do? It’s time to stop “should-ing” on yourself! As a culture, we are often held captive by the internalized voice of what we think we are supposed to do and be. This leads to the things we “should” do taking priority over the things we actually want, need, and desire to do. Living based on the way you “should” do things causes you to feel shame and keeps you from making positive changes. In this episode, we will address the reasons you might be held captive by the things you think you “should” do and what you can do to start prioritizing yourself again. 8 reasons you “should” on yourself

  • You fear what others will think.

  • You fear that you may disappoint someone.

  • You feel that you are not good enough.

  • You feel like you need need to prove your value.

  • You don’t trust yourself to get things done or make the right decisions.

  • You adopt your wants from someone else.

  • You feel your wants are selfish.

Q: What’s your biggest should? Why do you think it is something that you should do? What would your life be like if you did it more frequently? Does that life look different than your life now? Why or why not? “You have no control over what others think, so don’t allow them control over what you think you should do.” What are the consequences of “shoulds”? When you think about what you “should” do, you ignore or deprioritize your needs. Repeatedly ignoring your desires teaches you that what you want is not important and leads to resentment and fatigue. How can you avoid “should-ing”? 1. Create awareness by paying attention to what you say. 2. When you hear yourself “should-ing” make it a point to ask questions. 3. Ask yourself: “Is this something I want to do?” If the answer is no, then consider what is driving you to want to do it. Then identify what you want to do. 4. Let your “should” be a red flag. Think about whether you fully align with the belief and explore why that is. 5. Prioritize your needs and wants. Decide which behaviors and objectives benefit you and align with your values. Q: Who has the biggest influence on your life? Why? Describe one way that they have influenced your regular activities. What are your priorities? What would your life look like if you made your decisions based on your own priorities and decisions? Application Activities

  1. Make a list of all the things you do every day. Then, cross out the things you don’t enjoy doing but you think you “should” be doing them. Think about what your day would look like if you only did the things you want to do. If there are things that you know that you “should” do that you need to keep on the list, think about how you can attach meaning to those activities so they become things you want to do.

  2. It will be easier to avoid doing things just because you think you should if you increase your confidence. Research shows that something as simple as using a particular cologne can increase your confidence. Think about what makes you feel confident, whether it is a particular suit, a pair of shoes, a power pose, etc., and make it a regular part of your appearance/routine! Even just looking other people in the eye can help you appear and feel more confident.

  3. Try using a power pose for a few minutes every day to build confidence. Taking a powerful physical stance can help boost the hormones that help you feel confident. Some options include: standing with your legs apart and hands on your hips, leaning back in a chair with your hands folded behind your head and your feet elevated, and standing up leaning with your hands resting on a table.

Connect with Jeff: LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jeff-hancher/ Instagram: @thechampionforum Facebook: The Champion Forum Podcast with Jeff Hancher Email: jeffhancher@thechampionforum.com

FEBRUARY 17, 2021




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