Stop Being Your Team's Emotional Dumpster: Encouraging growth and independence with healthy boundaries

Have you ever ended a workday feeling completely drained, not because of the tasks, the meetings, or the workload, but because you spent the whole day absorbing other people's problems? Today on The Champion Forum Podcast, we discuss the unnecessary emotional weight many leaders carry. Leaders often feel pressured to serve as emotional counselors for their team, but they will be more effective when they teach their team how to carry it themselves, with resilience and strength. Tune in to learn five ways to protect your emotional bandwidth without making your team feel abandoned.

Why do leaders become counselors?

It usually comes from a good place; many leaders care about people, are compassionate, and genuinely want to help. They think they will gain credibility by listening to people's problems. However, the more you take on everyone's emotional baggage, the less space you have to actually think, strategize, and make clear decisions. The danger is not just that you get tired, it's that you unintentionally shift the culture of your team.

In 2024, 65% of leaders reported experiencing burnout symptoms, leading to decreased productivity, increased absenteeism, and higher team turnover rates.

How being an emotional support limits your team:

• People vent their frustrations instead of solving their problems.

• People become more dependent on you and less likely to take ownership of their situation.

• You give more mental energy to dealing with the emotional pressure rather than strategic clarity.

• You begin to resent your team.

Q: Have you ever felt pressure to listen to an emotional teammate? How did it help them? How did it affect you? What, if anything, would you do differently in the future? How has having the emotional support of your leader helped or hurt you?

Five steps you can take to create healthy boundaries with your team:

1. Establish 'Office Hours' for Emotional Check-ins

Designate a 30-minute block once or twice weekly where team members can bring emotional or personal concerns. Outside of those times, redirect emotional conversations to the next open window.

2. Use the "Three-Question Rule" When Someone Vents

Next time someone starts unloading, use these three questions to shift the conversation from emotional venting to solution-focused thinking:

- "What outcome do you want in this situation?"

- "What steps have you already taken?"

- "What do you think is your next best move?"

3. Create a "Coaching, Not Coddling" Mindset

Respond to emotional conversations with coaching language. Don't rush to solve the problem. Instead, guide them to self-reflection and action.

Ex. "That sounds tough. What's one thing you can control in this situation?"

4. Protect Your Calendar Like a Fortress

Block off focused work time every day where no one can interrupt you. I have seen this get out of balance so many times. Leaders who drop everything to talk to their employees become likeable, but ineffective. Guard your mental energy like it's your most precious resource.

5. Communicate Expectations Clearly

Set the tone with your team: Make boundaries normal and set clear expectations for how they should bring things to you.

Ex. "I care about you as people, but our conversations should always end with clear next steps, not just sharing frustrations."

Application Activities

1. Pick ONE action step from today's list and implement it within the next 24 hours. Whether it's setting office hours, using the three-question rule, or blocking your calendar, just start. Next month, evaluate how that one step affected your leadership and take action to implement another step.

2. You may have listened to this episode and realized you don't make time to listen to your team's emotions or hear their challenges. As crucial as boundaries are, cultivating a safe space will allow your employees to come to you when facing personal or professional setbacks and help you better understand how to support and lead them. If you need to make more time for your employees, schedule a "drop-in" time once or twice a week, where your door is open and you are available to chat. Or, use our Leader's Conversation Guide to help shape meaningful conversations and encourage your employees to share beyond the surface level.